Hello folks,
For my research analysis and writing class my professor let me pick any topic I want. (her mistake) So for my final term paper I chose to come up with a method of determining a guide to the use of the "rule of cool." I got a A on the paper so I figured I'd share it with you fine folks as well. It is rather lengthy so I've included the abstract first. The 8 tips for dungeon masters is near the end (third session), the first and second parts deal more with the philosophical and ethics of games. So, if situational ethics and a discussion on the Mechanics, Dynamics, and Aesthetics of Play are of use for you, be my guess.
I am a relatively new DM so I spent a long time researching and trying to absorb what would make me a "good DM". With that cavate please keep in mind I know next to nothing compared to a vast majority of the DMs here. I can think of no place better to have this paper peer-reviewed, picked apart and "rebutalled" to death than here. If you feel offended, challenged, or angry reading this... Please understand I am a moron borrowing the works and words of far smarter people. If you feel that "this is the WAY" again... I am a moron... so ... with out further ado.

Abstract:

The choice to be a stringent rule-follower without leniency using fanatical legalism in a game can be a source of contention between someone acting as a referee and/or “Game Master” and players of a game. Likewise, to approach games with a sense of fanatical antinomianism, or to completely ignore the rules and simply let players do whatever they want, tends to offer no challenge, and or reason to play that specific game. Using ethical theory frameworks such as situational ethics, natural law, and utilitarianism this paper seeks find the philosophical principles of what moments are acceptable and actually beneficial to bend the rules of a game. As such, it is important to define games, briefly discuss why games are played, and roles rules have on games. The game Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition will be used as the principal example. With “rule for rules” established, seven tips on how to implement it this rule using advice and guidance from some of the most well known “Dungeon Masters” in the modern era will be provided.
Much of this paper relies on the works of Joseph Fletcher, Sheila Murphy; Benard Suits, Robin Hunicke, Marc LeBlanc, and Robert Zubek for the ethical and philosophical discussions around games. For the practical advice, it relies primarily on the works of Matthew Mercer, Brennan Lee Mulligan, Benjamin Scott, Patrick Tracy, Kelly Mclaughlin and Monty Martin.
Players are your friends, or at the very least your fellow human beings. As such, seek out what is best for them. Games are about many things but principally about enjoyment. It’s okay if the player does not get exactly what they want, so long as they still had enjoyment. How it happens is up to the players, the one running the game, and whether the rules were used to enhance the experience or not. It’s possible to find that balance by asking these questions in order: “How will this decision affect: the final enjoyment of all at the table? the narrative? the rules in the future?”

**“Once upon a time, around a table…”

A man behind a cardboard screen sits across from a woman wearing a funny hat. He is frantically reading through the pages of the various books at his disposal. He finds the reference he is looking for, but it is not clear. “It is technically against the rules, it is barely within the realm of possibility, but the idea is so creative…” the man murmurs to himself. Exasperated, the man smiles a crooked grin and explains, “Well you can certainly try… give me an acrobatics check.” The woman throws a piece of plastic resin on to the table. The dice reads, “18.” The man sighs and then laments, “fine… how do you want to do this?” The table erupts in cheers, as high-fives are given from the others around the table. The woman adjusts her hat, as she gleefully explains how her character will use the momentum of several falling barrels to move across the map in a single turn without having to use all her character’s movement.
As a “Dungeon Master” (DM) for the tabletop role playing game, Dungeons and Dragons (D&D), I can say without a doubt that many DMs have encountered extremely similar events as the one described above. The choice to be a stringent rule-follower without leniency can be a source of much resentment between the DM and the players around the table. Likewise, to completely ignore the rules and simply let players do whatever they want offers no challenge, no reason to play. In terms of D&D rule enforcement, as is with many events in life, the choice of always being either a “Harsh Disciplinarian” or the lenient, “Laissez Faire Guide” is a false dichotomy. Instead, seeking balance between the two choices based first on the overall needs of the players, second on the needs of the story, and third on requirements and rules of the game should be the norm.

Session 1: What is the Relationship between, Players, Games and Rules?

The 19th century philosopher and founder of modern cultural history, John Hughes once wrote, “Play is older than culture, for culture, however inadvertently defined, always presupposes human society and animals have not waited for man to teach them their playing.” ¹ Why do humans play? Is it instinctual? Bernard Suits was a Distinguished Emeritus Professor of Philosophy for the University of Waterloo and his essays are in part responsible for the field of philosophy of games in the late 20th century. In his book, “The Grasshopper: Games, Life and Utopia,” Suits’ book uses Aesop’s fable about the grasshopper to argue that play is what we would do in a perfect civilization. He believed that in a world devoid of work, humans would still seek out challenges through play, suggesting that it is human nature to challenge ourselves.² But is that the only reason someone plays a game?
One YouTuber opined that “In a practical sense, games facilitate systemic thinking by getting us to view abstractions, but also engender creativity by getting us to play.”³ If true, these are essential tools for humanity to function as an intelligent race. This makes sense from an evolutionary level as to why humanity would develop play, but is there more to it than “games encourage outside the box thinking?”
The landmark paper titled, “MDA: A formal approach to game design and game research” is one of the earliest attempts to formalize the field of video game design theory and it is fundamental to how modern game designers look at these systems. It serves to define the importance of mechanic, dynamics, and aesthetics of play and is instrumental to helping understand what players will expect out of a game. We will discuss more about dynamics and mechanics later, but first let us focus on aesthetics.
Aesthetics of Play Defined

Term	Definition	Examples
Sense Pleasure	Enjoyment derived from how it stimulates the senses	The visuals of a game, sound, and music, feel of the dice, etc.
Fantasy	Enjoyment derived from the ability to step into a role that cannot be experienced in real life	Playing a game as a magic wielding sorcerer or rocks in the far flung reaches of outer space
Narrative	Enjoyment derived from game as drama, it is about the stories and experience gained	Heavily story driven games such as Last of Us, Dungeons and Dragons, Final Fantasy
Challenge	Enjoyment derived from overcoming an arbitrary obstacle	Platformers like Mario, or even drinking games like beer pong, or corn hole; social games like charades, etc.
Fellowship	Enjoyment from working cooperatively as a group to accomplish a goal	Team based or social games such as Among Us, the card game Spades; save the world mode on Fortnite
Competition	Enjoyment from showing dominance	Chess or Go, Battle royal games such as Fortnite or PubG or Call of Duty; Fallguys; darts Poker; Uno, Killer bunnies or Magic the Gathering;
Discovery	Enjoyment from uncovering the new or discovering news ways to play a game.	These can range from searching to find things to choose your own adventure Minecraft; Zelda Breath of the Wild; simple matching games; the board game Betrayal at the House on the Hill; or games like Fable; Dragon Age Inquisition; or Mass effect
Expression	Enjoyment from showing an aspect of one’s self; or games that allow full customization of characters	Creation games like Minecraft; role play games like fallout 4; world of warcraft or Fortnite
Submission (aka Abnegation)	Enjoyment from being able to “turn of the brain; and tune out the world” or what is also known as zone out factor.	Bejeweled; candy crush; the lever-pull games at casinos, solitaire, etc.
	(Source: Portnow & Floyd, October 2012)⁵

Aesthetics are things like sense pleasure, fantasy, the narrative of the story, challenge, fellowship, discovery, expression, and something called submission.⁴ There is an additional aesthetic that most game designers also consider when designing games termed as “competition”.⁵ These are all reasons people play games and it is important to keep all these in mind when acting as a DM.
The table above works to define these terms more appropriately and makes it easier to reference later. The reasons a player may want to play a game vary and change over time. If a DM can understand their players’ goals (i.e., what the player hopes to get out of the game) the DM will be able to understand why someone might want to perform a certain action, play a game, or want to ignore a certain rule in the first place.
On that note, what are rules in games? Think about it… Games are weird… well I should say the act of playing a game… is weird. Suits once wrote in his article, for the “Philosophy of Science Association Journal,” "To play a game is to engage in activity directed towards bringing about a specific state of affairs, using only means permitted by rules, where the rules prohibit more efficient [means] in favor of less efficient means, and where such rules are accepted just because they make possible such activity."⁶ In other words, to play a game we create rules that prevent us from achieving a goal through the easiest means available. Instead, we make something more difficult and we play a game. For instance, in basketball, it would be far easier to simply carry the ball all the way to the basket instead of dribbling it.
In D&D, there is a similar activity to dribbling. It is called a “dice roll.” It is something that players must make to see if they succeed or fail at a task. The player rolls a 20-sided die and tries to get above a certain score to succeed. Players can roll normal, with advantage, or with disadvantage. Rolling with advantage allows the player to roll the D-20 (the 20-sided die) twice and use the higher number. Rolling with disadvantage also has the player roll the D-20 twice, but they must take the lower number rolled instead. It introduces a chance of randomness, and players will find any excuse they can to avoid having to make a roll with "disadvantage." In his book, The Grasshopper, Suits argues that we do this because it is the act of overcoming that limitation that we find enjoyment. By taking on these restrictions and accepting these limitations, we take on what he coins as a "lusory attitude" which allows us to play the game as it is meant to be played.
Suits would argue that by not playing the game according to the rules as written, the player would have only achieved a “quasi-victory” not really worthy of achievement. He also goes on to say that even the act of “failing to win the game by virtue of losing it implies an achievement, in the sense that the activity in question -- playing the game -- has been successfully, even though not victoriously, complete.”⁷ So, according to Suits, it’s better to follow the rules of the game and loose than to not follow the rules and win. It’s important to point out that the aesthetics of play had not yet been defined and Suits’ work mainly focused on the “challenge” aspect of play. This is where many sports and game philosophers begin to find fault with Suits. In the “Journal of Philosophy of Sport,” a rebuttal of Suits’ work by David Myers asks, “What if the goal of the player isn't to follow the rules or even play the game?”⁸ For instance, what happens if the player is motivated by competition and doesn’t care about rules so long as “they win?” While an extreme example, this paradox isn’t out of the realm of possibility. Therefore, focusing on just the challenge aesthetic of game play and simply playing the game “rules as written” can lead to a disconnect between what the player desires and the game itself.
Jesper Juul, an Associate Professor in the School of Design at the Royal Danish Academy of Fine Arts, wrote in his textbook on video game design, “Rules specify limitations and affordances. They prohibit players from performing actions such as making jewelry out of dice, but they also add meaning to the allowed actions, and this affords players meaningful actions that were not otherwise available; rules give games structure”⁹ Basically, without rules we cannot even have play. However, if the player ignores the rules that player won’t be able to enjoy the full experience of the game, because the rules both afford the opportunity to enjoy the game and provide the obstacles in the first place.
How the rules affect actual game play is where Mechanics and Dynamics come into play. (See, I told you we would get back to it eventually.) Mechanics are the rules and systems that govern chance to create the game we experience. Dynamics are how those rules come together to govern the strategies of that game. In D&D, an example of mechanics is how a player would have to roll a 20-sided dice to see if an action would succeed. Dynamics are the actions the player takes to manipulate the situation and give themselves advantage in the roll. Some examples of this are using a spell caster’s familiar, flanking an enemy in combat, using the bend luck trait, or lucky feat. This is akin to how the rules of poker dictate that bluffing is allowed (mechanics); but how the bluffing player conceals their tells and bets is entirely up to that player (dynamics).
What happens when the player’s desired aesthetics and the mechanics don’t allow for the dynamics the player wants to use? This is where it falls on the DM to determine if the game can handle a little rule bending. In the Dungeon Master Guide’s introduction, it states “The D&D rules help you and the other players have a good time, but the rules aren’t in charge. You’re the DM, and you are in charge of the game…” However! It goes on to say, “The success of a D&D game hinges on your ability to entertain the other players at the game table.” What is a good way to approach this? Is it THE DM IS ALWAYS RIGHT, able to enforce their will on the players whenever it suits their need? Should the DM strictly enforce the rules and narrative of their planned story without the need to appease the players’ wants and desires?... well… The DM COULD do it, but it won’t be long before their players stop showing to game sessions. Just like the rules, without players, there is no game. Or as one notable professional DM and YouTuber once put it:

“The game you weave belongs to the players as much as yourself… so make sure to humor them every once in awhile by giving them a chance to be extraordinary" - Patrick "the Goddam DM" Tracy ¹⁰

Session 2: The Ethics of a Dungeon Master

So how does someone seek a balance between the rules and the players? Enter situational ethics. Situational ethics, first proposed by philosopher and first professor of ethics at Harvard Medical School, Joseph Fletcher,** is an attempt to seek a middle ground between two ethical schools of thought: Legalism and Antinomianism. In legalism, morality must come from a strict set of rules that must be obeyed at all times and cannot be deviated from or broken for any reason. Antinomianism, on the other hand, is the idea that there should be no rules, you should be able to do what you want, whenever you want (lawless society). ¹¹
In D&D terms, "Fanatical Legalism" would be similar to what many DMs would characterize as "Lawful Stupid," where a certain player's character enforces harsh judgement without ever showing mercy to those who would break the law regardless of the circumstances… even to the detriment of the party… or that small band of orphans who were stealing food out of desperation…
Likewise, in D&D terms, "Fanatical Antinomianism" would be similar to what DMs would characterize as "Chaotic Stupid," where a player's character completely ignores consequences an action would bring and simply act according to their whims… even when it's an obvious trap… that has a 100 percent chance to damage not only your character, but the other players as well.
Fletcher's work states that the morally right thing to do depends on the situation and can change throughout the situation, but at the same time, there is a universal “moral law” on which to base our actions that he called "Agape" love. Derived from the Greek word of similar pronunciation, Fletcher sought to define Agape as a means to show love for your fellow human. In his book titled “Situational Ethics,” Fletcher states, "All laws, rules, principles, ideals and norms, are only contingent, only valid if they happen to serve love."¹² Or to put it a different way, a desire to see your fellow human be happy is and should be the goal. It is not really a feeling, but an attitude to do what is best for others.
In terms of the D&D alignment chart, this would be easiest to define as whether someone is "Good" or "Evil." Whereas a “good character” is someone who acts for the betterment of others regardless of personal motivations, conversely an “evil character” acts out of their own self-interests regardless of how this action would affect others. Those that follow the concept of Agape would be “good characters.” Those that do not, would be evil.
This is where the so-called “Rule of Cool” comes into play. Mathew Mercer, an extremely acclaimed DM, comedian, and writer of D&D’s “Explorer’s Guide to Wild Mount,” and host of the show “Critical Roll,” defines the Rule of Cool as a trope in the D&D community that is “the willing suspension of disbelief for the sake of a cool moment.”¹³ It’s used in moments where the use of an certain object or action would be nearly impossible according to the mechanics of the game, but because it is a “cool dynamic,” the DM allows it. But what is “cool?” Is it a player that is normally too nervous to speak up being able to do something unique on time despite it being against the rules? Is it a player that has spent considerable time perfecting a skill and being able to perform a truly “epic task” (such as the jumping across barrels to effectively triple their movement distance)? Is it succeeding in persuading the main villain to befriend the party through a series of increasingly complex but successful rolls?
In all these situations listed above, there is a common theme that ties all the principles of what this paper is trying to address together in a simple phrase. As a DM, before making a ruling ask, "How will this decision affect the final enjoyment of all at the table?" Now a DM cannot give the players everything they want. Doing so cheapens the truly extraordinary moments. Finding the right balance can be difficult. That is why the flow chart above is suggested when trying to figure out whether it is a good time to “Remember the Rule of Cool.”
https://i.redd.it/f362ghdjlqf61.png

Session 3: “Well… You can Certainly Try”- Some Famous DM

Finally, we can discuss how the desire to make the most enjoyable experience for everyone at the table plays out using real-world examples and advice from some of the most well-known DMs in the business. Using the concept of Situational Ethics’ Agape, we can see how to work in the rule of cool using eight tips for Dungeon Masters.
Tip 1: It is advised to know your audience.
Not everything is as it seems, so be sure to pay attention to your players and look at them when you are describing the situation. Make note of how they react when tones or themes change. Remember those reasons people play games mentioned earlier? This is where those come into play. Additionally, while not something outright suggested, it is nevertheless important to take team dynamics into account.
The book “Four lenses unfolded” describes how various personality types can interact and work to solve problems. In it, the book describes four primary temperaments: Green (analytical), Blue (empathetic), Orange (adventurous), and Gold (goal oriented). Unlike most other personality tests, four lenses theory suggests that while we have a dominant personality at any given moment, other aspects of these personalities can manifest as well. Being able to draw on these aspects at will is the mark of a “mature” individual.¹⁴ As a DM/referee, coach, or manager, being able to do this and adapt to the needs of the players will take player engagement to the next level.
Tip 2: Establishing and Managing Expectations Early and Often, Works to Prevent Disappointment and Confusions
Mercer once put it this way, “Establish early on in your campaign how much of a level of crazy you're willing to allow. This allows for players to better understand what to try for and what not to try for.”¹⁵ Whether you are a teacher, referee, coach, parent, supervisor, or mentor, establishing expectations with those involved mitigates problems before they arise.
One of the main tools DM’s have for this is that is recommended by Mercer, as well as nearly every DM in existence on the internet, is the “Session Zero.” Session Zero is a term used to describe a session where no play occurs but instead rules that will be used and rules that will be ignored or bent is established. It also serves to establish a theme the players can expect from any campaign. Using the first chapter of the DMs guide will help considerably in establishing this. Additionally, one of the best guides for this is laid out by the DM YouTubers known as “the Dungeon Dudes” in their video titled, “How to Run a Session Zero for Dungeons and Dragons 5e.”¹⁶ But always keep Agape in mind throughout this process. In this step, it means actively listening to the players. The DM may want a gritty, tough, realistic, and challenging campaign. But if the players want a high fantasy power trip, some adjustments are going to need to be made to the campaign. Listening to players and changing the plans accordingly is not easy. It requires A LOT of humility and ego suppression. Especially when the DM has already designed how the game is going to go… which leads us to the next tip.
Tip 3: It is important to develop a healthy relationship with failure.
Celebrated author Orson Wells once wrote; “If you want a happy ending, that of course, is dependent of where you stop your story.”¹⁷ This applies to both the players and DM. There will be times when the DM is tempted to ignore the rules because the consequences seem dire. The player fails an athletics check trying to use a dynamic that had a high-risk, high-reward moment. Now the player’s character is doomed to fall several hundred feet down a ravine to what is likely certain doom in lava. But this isn’t the end. That player’s character is most likely dead, but their death could result in a moment of drama and tension for the players. It’s the very real chance of failure that encourages players to think critically about a situation and experience excitement and tension. Brennon Lee Mulligan, the DM of the D&D streaming show, “Dimension 20,” put it this way… “if you are not allowing for failure, you are essentially just telling a story,” and thus never actually playing a game (make-believe as Suits would put it). ¹⁸
Another thing to consider is that through failure, we can often find comedy as well as ways to encourage players to think critically and find new escapes, ¹⁹ at least according to the mind behind the “Replaying the Curse of Strahd” videos, Benjamin (Puffin Forest) Scott. Lastly, Mercer strongly advises that if a DM allows too many “rule of cool moments” to happen in succession, the weight of the moments and consistency of the game will be lost. ²⁰
Players that are afraid to fail will not try. Mercer explains that “Most role play games are designed to forge a heroic story (showing feats of legend) so let the players try! Let them fail, and occasionally succeed!” This is where his catch phrase “you can certainly try” comes from. ²¹
Tip 4: Whenever Possible, Avoid Taking Things Personally
In his lecture on not talking things personally, soccer referee and public speaker, Frederik Imbo, explained there are two sides of a coin to keep in mind when trying not to take things personally: “It is not about you,” and “it is about you.” ²² Look at the other person’s intentions not just yours. With that in mind, it is okay to give yourself empathy and speak up. When someone seems upset with you, ask what are they hoping to get out of this releasing of emotions? Additionally, ensure that your pride isn’t preventing you from making the correct call. Yes I am talking about Ego again; it is that important! It is the DM’s world, but it is the players’ game. Without both, the world and the game, you do not have D&D.
D&D has a weird paradox of being both a story and a game. It has both a narrative as its core premise, but it is, in fact, also a multi-player game. Without at least two people you cannot really have much fun. DMs should make sure that everyone at the table enjoys themselves.
Tip 5: Mechanics are important precisely because they are a means of delivering impactful story moments.
Remember that rule of cool concept? Extraordinary moments don’t happen often, and this is by design of the mechanics of the game. Humans remember the novel and unique way more often than the mundane. Mundane things tend to blend into the background. It’s the unexpected moments that highlight the more impactful story moments, especially if that moment is tied to strong emotions.²³
With that in mind, Mulligan suggests looking at where the players are putting their resources before deciding how to rule on a situation. Have they invested experience points/levels into a specific skill that is relevant to this situation instead of just something they can use in combat? If so, reward them for wanting to do something that is a part of the world you are creating together. ²⁴
Tip 6: Discourage metagaming but allow it whenever possible.
Look for any and every excuse you can to give advantage on an arcana check by setting the DC low (10 or higher). If the player succeeds, they can use what they know… they are going to anyway, but at least then they can talk about it with the other players.
According to the DM guide Chapter 8, metagame thinking means “thinking about the game as a game,” Examples would be thinking “the DM wouldn’t throw such a powerful monster at us so early in the game, so we will surely be saved and not have to take this fight seriously,” or “the DM spent A LOT of time describing that door… maybe we should search it again!” ²⁵
The problem with metagaming isn’t really about what advantage the players are getting in the game. The problem is that manipulation of the dynamics, when used to extremes, can spoil the plot line of the cumulative story being told. This can lessen the drama and tension elements resulting in decreased enjoyment of those involved. Additionally, it can create a dynamic where the DM is constantly having to escalate encounters to challenge the player, encouraging a potentially toxic “DM vs player” mentality.
For instance, how would a street orphan barbarian with no formal education and a wisdom of …let’s say very low…be able to know that liches phylactery is the source of their power. The solution here depends on why the players are playing this specific game. Is it the narrative of the story? Is it discovery? If these aren’t anywhere close to the reasons these players came to the game table in the first place, the narrative is not going to take as much of a factor into decisions. Metagaming in this instance isn’t going to be much of a problem.
Tip 7: Keep in mind, the ending is “A” destination, but the story is about how you get there.
A DM may hold off the extra cool moments for the final parts of the game, keeping their players in complete darkness and grit the entire way. However, without at least some levity along the way, some “water for the weary travelers,” as Mercer put it, they may not make it to the end.²⁶ So, do not be afraid to relax the rules from time to time to give them those cool moments, but do so sparingly lest the destination lose its luster as well. Always keep in mind it’s about the enjoyment of crafting and playing in the world together that makes this, or really any game, fun.
Tip 8: When all else fails… take a break and have the Tarrasque attack the party.
When all else fails, roll two D-20s out of players’ views… fake a worried expression… role a D-100 (also out of player’s view) look over the score concerned as you pour through your notes… then explain sorrowfully… “I’m sorry… The Tarrasque has risen and has attacked the party. Everyone roll initiative.” This is actual advice from the DM manual. It is right under “faking illness and running away.”²⁷ The point is this: never be afraid to pause or call a game when it’s over or needed.
Maybe something incredibly uncomfortable for a player has happened. Maybe the DM has reached the end of what they were able to prepare for that session. Perhaps everyone is hungry or needs a bathroom break. Maybe the entire table has gotten to a point where no one can agree on anything and team dynamics are breaking down. That game world will always be there… but your friends won’t. Cherish that moment and make as many good moments as possible. Additionally, taking breaks both in-game and in the real world allow for quiet moments. These allow for the greater moments to shine through and the players will enjoy their experience more.
https://i.redd.it/1ncu361zlqf61.png
The graphic above serves to summarize the eight tips above and show their relationship with the narrative, enjoyment, and the rules when put in the context of situational ethics. From this graph, the relationship between the eight tips and how they play into the narrative, enjoyment, and rules of the game can be seen. Each of the tips can influence many parts of the game but they are intended to primarily influence the aspect of the game they are adjacent to. “Knowing the players” should influence the narrative and what kind of enjoyment the players receive. What mechanics are used to enable the game is causally related to how the rules are used and so on. Please note that Agape is at the center as, with every decision a DM makes, considering what is best for the players should be central to the experience of any game.
The Epic Conclusion
Through crafting a game-world together with your players, a DM has the potential to tap into one of the greatest traditions humanity has: camaraderie with friends. At the end of the day, these players are your friends, or at the very least your fellow human beings. As such, you should want what is best for them. Through trials, hardships, and drama, we get to put the punctuation on the moments of excitement, joy, happiness, and bliss. It is okay if the player does not get exactly what they want, so long as they still had enjoyment. This is because getting everything we expect is sometimes boring. However, always keep in mind that at the end of the day, games are about having fun. How that happens is up to the players, the DM, and whether the rules were used to enhance the experience or not. It’s possible to find that balance by asking these questions in order: “How will this decision affect: the final enjoyment of all at the table? the narrative? the rules in the future?”
1 Huizinga, Johan . "Homo Ludens". Routledge & Kegan Paul Ltd. (1980), pp. 1., accessed January 19, 2021. http://art.yale.edu/file_columns/0000/1474/ homoludens_johan_huizinga_routledge_1949.pdf
2 Suits, Bernard, “The Grasshopper: Games, Life and Utopia,” Broadview Press. Ed. 3. (November 29, 2005): 54–55. Accessed December 31, 2020. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/803547.The_Grasshopper
3 The Game Overanalyzer, The Aesthetics of Play | Why We Play Games, and the Search for Truth and Beauty in Game Design. The Game Overanalyzer. (January 11, 2020), accessed 6 January 2021. Video 18:44. https://youtu.be/lONsZwjVDzg
4 Hunicke, Robin, Marc LeBlanc, and Robert Zubek. "MDA: A formal approach to game design and game research." Proceedings of the AAAI Workshop on Challenges in Game AI, vol. 4, no. 1, p. 1722. (2004). Accessed January 11, 2020 https://www.aaai.org/Papers/Workshops/2004/WS-04-04/WS04-04-001.pdf
5 Portnow, James; Floyd, Daniel; Aesthetics of Play- Redefining Genres in Gaming. Extra Credits; (October 17, 2012), Video 9:13. Accessed December 30, 2020. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uepAJ-rqJKA&list=PL3N9QD4_yI-BlnwWUL8hhjpKgqRul3xAa&index=11
6 Suits, Bernard. “Discussion: Games and Paradox.” Chicago University Press. Philosophy of Science Association Journal, Vol 36, no. 3 (September 1, 1969). pg 316–.321. Accessed December 30, 2020. https://www.jstor.org/stable/186226
7 Suits, Bernard. “Discussion: Games and Paradox (1969)
8 Myers, David. “Game as Paradox: A Rebuttal of Suits.” Journal of the philosophy of Sport 39, no. 1 (May 1, 2012). Accessed December 30, 2020. https://search-ebscohost-com.ezproxy2.apus.edu/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=ip&db=s3h&AN=87342252&site=ehost-live&scope=site.
9 Juul, Jesper. "Half-Real: Video Games between Real Rules and Fictional Worlds", MIT Press, (Aug 19, 2011) pp.57-59
10 Tracy, Patrick. DM Tips: The Rule of Cool. Fantasy Bango. (October 20, 2017). Accessed December 30, 2020. Video 2:23 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8aAIFalx6s
11 Fletcher, Joseph F. Situation Ethics: The New Morality. Westminster John Knox Press, (1997). Page 17-26 (accessed January 20, 2021) http://bit.ly/Googlescholar_SItuational_Ethics
**Please note that just because Fletcher’s Situational Ethics is used prominently, this is not an endorsement of all his views. Fletcher’s work has been used to justify terrible atrocities, such as eugenics, this should serve to point out that any philosophy taken to extremes can lead to terrible outcomes
12 Fletcher, Joseph F. Situation Ethics: The New Morality. (1997)
13 Mercer, Matthew. The Rule of Cool! (Game Master Tips). Geek & Sundry. (February 16, 2016). Accessed December 30, 2020. Video. 5:52 https://youtu.be/fWZDuFIYkf0
14 Bryce, Nathan K., “Four Lenses Unfolded: A Deeper Understanding of Temperament Values,” Insight; (January 29, 2002,).
15 Mercer, Matthew. The Rule of Cool! (Game Master Tips). (2016).
16 McLaughlin, Kelly; Martin, Monty. "How to Run a Session Zero for Dungeons and Dragons 5e". Dungeon Dudes. (September 3, 2020), Accessed 12 30, 2020. Video. https://youtu.be/2MA-z5Ai-bQ
17 Wells, Orson, "The Big Brass Ring." Santa Teresa Press (1987, January 1) 1-148
18 Mulligan, Brennan; Scott, Benjamin. “Animating Your Table (with Benjamin Scott) | Adventuring Academy Season 2 | Ep. 16 |” Adventuring Academy. Dimension (2020, December 28). Accessed December 30, 2020. Video 1:24:18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IbVxEKpipo
19 Mulligan, Brennan; Scott, Benjamin. “Animating Your Table (with Benjamin Scott) (2020)
20 Mercer, Matthew. The Rule of Cool! (Game Master Tips). (2016)..
21 Mercer, Matthew. The Rule of Cool! (Game Master Tips). (2016)
22 Imbo, Frederik, "How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen" TEDx Talks; (March 4, 2020) accessed 10 Jan 2021, video 17:36 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnJwH_PZXnM&t=381s
23 Kensinger, Elizabeth. Remembering the Details: Effects of Emotion. US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health. (May 4, 2009) Accessed 2021, January 30 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2676782/
24 Mulligan, Brennan; Scott, Benjamin. “Animating Your Table (with Benjamin Scott) (2020)
25 Mearls, Mike, and Jeremy Crawford. "Dungeons Master's guide". Renton, WA: Wizards of the Coast. (2014) accessed 29 January 2021 https://www.dndbeyond.com/sources/dmg/running-the-game#MetagameThinking
26 Mulligan, Brennan; Mercer, Matthew. Building Your Own Campaign Setting (with Matthew Mercer) | Adventuring Academy. Dimension 20. (2019, April 3) Accessed December 30, 2020. Video 57:01 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sig8X_kojco&t=2867s
27 Mearls, Mike, and Jeremy Crawford. "Dungeons Master's guide". Renton, WA: Wizards of the Coast. (2014)-accessed 20 January 2021. https://www.dndbeyond.com/sources/dmg

How do you want to do this? A Discussion on Selective Rule Enforcement

Abstract:

**“Once upon a time, around a table…”

Session 1: What is the Relationship between, Players, Games and Rules?

Term	Definition	Examples
Sense Pleasure	Enjoyment derived from how it stimulates the senses	The visuals of a game, sound, and music, feel of the dice, etc.
Fantasy	Enjoyment derived from the ability to step into a role that cannot be experienced in real life	Playing a game as a magic wielding sorcerer or rocks in the far flung reaches of outer space
Narrative	Enjoyment derived from game as drama, it is about the stories and experience gained	Heavily story driven games such as Last of Us, Dungeons and Dragons, Final Fantasy
Challenge	Enjoyment derived from overcoming an arbitrary obstacle	Platformers like Mario, or even drinking games like beer pong, or corn hole; social games like charades, etc.
Fellowship	Enjoyment from working cooperatively as a group to accomplish a goal	Team based or social games such as Among Us, the card game Spades; save the world mode on Fortnite
Competition	Enjoyment from showing dominance	Chess or Go, Battle royal games such as Fortnite or PubG or Call of Duty; Fallguys; darts Poker; Uno, Killer bunnies or Magic the Gathering;
Discovery	Enjoyment from uncovering the new or discovering news ways to play a game.	These can range from searching to find things to choose your own adventure Minecraft; Zelda Breath of the Wild; simple matching games; the board game Betrayal at the House on the Hill; or games like Fable; Dragon Age Inquisition; or Mass effect
Expression	Enjoyment from showing an aspect of one’s self; or games that allow full customization of characters	Creation games like Minecraft; role play games like fallout 4; world of warcraft or Fortnite
Submission (aka Abnegation)	Enjoyment from being able to “turn of the brain; and tune out the world” or what is also known as zone out factor.	Bejeweled; candy crush; the lever-pull games at casinos, solitaire, etc.
	(Source: Portnow & Floyd, October 2012)⁵

“The game you weave belongs to the players as much as yourself… so make sure to humor them every once in awhile by giving them a chance to be extraordinary" - Patrick "the Goddam DM" Tracy ¹⁰

Session 2: The Ethics of a Dungeon Master

Session 3: “Well… You can Certainly Try”- Some Famous DM

Finally, we can discuss how the desire to make the most enjoyable experience for everyone at the table plays out using real-world examples and advice from some of the most well-known DMs in the business. Using the concept of Situational Ethics’ Agape, we can see how to work in the rule of cool using eight tips for Dungeon Masters.
Tip 1: It is advised to know your audience.
Not everything is as it seems, so be sure to pay attention to your players and look at them when you are describing the situation. Make note of how they react when tones or themes change. Remember those reasons people play games mentioned earlier? This is where those come into play. Additionally, while not something outright suggested, it is nevertheless important to take team dynamics into account.
The book “Four lenses unfolded” describes how various personality types can interact and work to solve problems. In it, the book describes four primary temperaments: Green (analytical), Blue (empathetic), Orange (adventurous), and Gold (goal oriented). Unlike most other personality tests, four lenses theory suggests that while we have a dominant personality at any given moment, other aspects of these personalities can manifest as well. Being able to draw on these aspects at will is the mark of a “mature” individual.¹⁴ As a DM/referee, coach, or manager, being able to do this and adapt to the needs of the players will take player engagement to the next level.
Tip 2: Establishing and Managing Expectations Early and Often, Works to Prevent Disappointment and Confusions
Mercer once put it this way, “Establish early on in your campaign how much of a level of crazy you're willing to allow. This allows for players to better understand what to try for and what not to try for.”¹⁵ Whether you are a teacher, referee, coach, parent, supervisor, or mentor, establishing expectations with those involved mitigates problems before they arise.
One of the main tools DM’s have for this is that is recommended by Mercer, as well as nearly every DM in existence on the internet, is the “Session Zero.” Session Zero is a term used to describe a session where no play occurs but instead rules that will be used and rules that will be ignored or bent is established. It also serves to establish a theme the players can expect from any campaign. Using the first chapter of the DMs guide will help considerably in establishing this. Additionally, one of the best guides for this is laid out by the DM YouTubers known as “the Dungeon Dudes” in their video titled, “How to Run a Session Zero for Dungeons and Dragons 5e.”¹⁶ But always keep Agape in mind throughout this process. In this step, it means actively listening to the players. The DM may want a gritty, tough, realistic, and challenging campaign. But if the players want a high fantasy power trip, some adjustments are going to need to be made to the campaign. Listening to players and changing the plans accordingly is not easy. It requires A LOT of humility and ego suppression. Especially when the DM has already designed how the game is going to go… which leads us to the next tip.
Tip 3: It is important to develop a healthy relationship with failure.
Celebrated author Orson Wells once wrote; “If you want a happy ending, that of course, is dependent of where you stop your story.”¹⁷ This applies to both the players and DM. There will be times when the DM is tempted to ignore the rules because the consequences seem dire. The player fails an athletics check trying to use a dynamic that had a high-risk, high-reward moment. Now the player’s character is doomed to fall several hundred feet down a ravine to what is likely certain doom in lava. But this isn’t the end. That player’s character is most likely dead, but their death could result in a moment of drama and tension for the players. It’s the very real chance of failure that encourages players to think critically about a situation and experience excitement and tension. Brennon Lee Mulligan, the DM of the D&D streaming show, “Dimension 20,” put it this way… “if you are not allowing for failure, you are essentially just telling a story,” and thus never actually playing a game (make-believe as Suits would put it). ¹⁸
Another thing to consider is that through failure, we can often find comedy as well as ways to encourage players to think critically and find new escapes, ¹⁹ at least according to the mind behind the “Replaying the Curse of Strahd” videos, Benjamin (Puffin Forest) Scott. Lastly, Mercer strongly advises that if a DM allows too many “rule of cool moments” to happen in succession, the weight of the moments and consistency of the game will be lost. ²⁰
Players that are afraid to fail will not try. Mercer explains that “Most role play games are designed to forge a heroic story (showing feats of legend) so let the players try! Let them fail, and occasionally succeed!” This is where his catch phrase “you can certainly try” comes from. ²¹
Tip 4: Whenever Possible, Avoid Taking Things Personally
In his lecture on not talking things personally, soccer referee and public speaker, Frederik Imbo, explained there are two sides of a coin to keep in mind when trying not to take things personally: “It is not about you,” and “it is about you.” ²² Look at the other person’s intentions not just yours. With that in mind, it is okay to give yourself empathy and speak up. When someone seems upset with you, ask what are they hoping to get out of this releasing of emotions? Additionally, ensure that your pride isn’t preventing you from making the correct call. Yes I am talking about Ego again; it is that important! It is the DM’s world, but it is the players’ game. Without both, the world and the game, you do not have D&D.
D&D has a weird paradox of being both a story and a game. It has both a narrative as its core premise, but it is, in fact, also a multi-player game. Without at least two people you cannot really have much fun. DMs should make sure that everyone at the table enjoys themselves. Tip 5: Mechanics are important precisely because they are a means of delivering impactful story moments.
Remember that rule of cool concept? Extraordinary moments don’t happen often, and this is by design of the mechanics of the game. Humans remember the novel and unique way more often than the mundane. Mundane things tend to blend into the background. It’s the unexpected moments that highlight the more impactful story moments, especially if that moment is tied to strong emotions.²³
With that in mind, Mulligan suggests looking at where the players are putting their resources before deciding how to rule on a situation. Have they invested experience points/levels into a specific skill that is relevant to this situation instead of just something they can use in combat? If so, reward them for wanting to do something that is a part of the world you are creating together. ²⁴
Tip 6: Discourage metagaming but allow it whenever possible.
Look for any and every excuse you can to give advantage on an arcana check by setting the DC low (10 or higher). If the player succeeds, they can use what they know… they are going to anyway, but at least then they can talk about it with the other players.
According to the DM guide Chapter 8, metagame thinking means “thinking about the game as a game,” Examples would be thinking “the DM wouldn’t throw such a powerful monster at us so early in the game, so we will surely be saved and not have to take this fight seriously,” or “the DM spent A LOT of time describing that door… maybe we should search it again!” ²⁵
The problem with metagaming isn’t really about what advantage the players are getting in the game. The problem is that manipulation of the dynamics, when used to extremes, can spoil the plot line of the cumulative story being told. This can lessen the drama and tension elements resulting in decreased enjoyment of those involved. Additionally, it can create a dynamic where the DM is constantly having to escalate encounters to challenge the player, encouraging a potentially toxic “DM vs player” mentality.
For instance, how would a street orphan barbarian with no formal education and a wisdom of …let’s say very low…be able to know that liches phylactery is the source of their power. The solution here depends on why the players are playing this specific game. Is it the narrative of the story? Is it discovery? If these aren’t anywhere close to the reasons these players came to the game table in the first place, the narrative is not going to take as much of a factor into decisions. Metagaming in this instance isn’t going to be much of a problem.
Tip 7: Keep in mind, the ending is “A” destination, but the story is about how you get there.
A DM may hold off the extra cool moments for the final parts of the game, keeping their players in complete darkness and grit the entire way. However, without at least some levity along the way, some “water for the weary travelers,” as Mercer put it, they may not make it to the end.²⁶ So, do not be afraid to relax the rules from time to time to give them those cool moments, but do so sparingly lest the destination lose its luster as well. Always keep in mind it’s about the enjoyment of crafting and playing in the world together that makes this, or really any game, fun.
*Tip 8: When all else fails… take a break and have the Tarrasque attack the party. *
When all else fails, roll two D-20s out of players’ views… fake a worried expression… role a D-100 (also out of player’s view) look over the score concerned as you pour through your notes… then explain sorrowfully… “I’m sorry… The Tarrasque has risen and has attacked the party. Everyone roll initiative.” This is actual advice from the DM manual. It is right under “faking illness and running away.”²⁷ The point is this: never be afraid to pause or call a game when it’s over or needed.
Maybe something incredibly uncomfortable for a player has happened. Maybe the DM has reached the end of what they were able to prepare for that session. Perhaps everyone is hungry or needs a bathroom break. Maybe the entire table has gotten to a point where no one can agree on anything and team dynamics are breaking down. That game world will always be there… but your friends won’t. Cherish that moment and make as many good moments as possible. Additionally, taking breaks both in-game and in the real world allow for quiet moments. These allow for the greater moments to shine through and the players will enjoy their experience more.
https://i.redd.it/1ncu361zlqf61.png
The graphic above serves to summarize the eight tips above and show their relationship with the narrative, enjoyment, and the rules when put in the context of situational ethics. From this graph, the relationship between the eight tips and how they play into the narrative, enjoyment, and rules of the game can be seen. Each of the tips can influence many parts of the game but they are intended to primarily influence the aspect of the game they are adjacent to. “Knowing the players” should influence the narrative and what kind of enjoyment the players receive. What mechanics are used to enable the game is causally related to how the rules are used and so on. Please note that Agape is at the center as, with every decision a DM makes, considering what is best for the players should be central to the experience of any game.
The Epic Conclusion
Through crafting a game-world together with your players, a DM has the potential to tap into one of the greatest traditions humanity has: camaraderie with friends. At the end of the day, these players are your friends, or at the very least your fellow human beings. As such, you should want what is best for them. Through trials, hardships, and drama, we get to put the punctuation on the moments of excitement, joy, happiness, and bliss. It is okay if the player does not get exactly what they want, so long as they still had enjoyment. This is because getting everything we expect is sometimes boring. However, always keep in mind that at the end of the day, games are about having fun. How that happens is up to the players, the DM, and whether the rules were used to enhance the experience or not. It’s possible to find that balance by asking these questions in order: “How will this decision affect: the final enjoyment of all at the table? the narrative? the rules in the future?”
1 Huizinga, Johan . "Homo Ludens". Routledge & Kegan Paul Ltd. (1980), pp. 1., accessed January 19, 2021. http://art.yale.edu/file_columns/0000/1474/ homoludens_johan_huizinga_routledge_1949.pdf
2 Suits, Bernard, “The Grasshopper: Games, Life and Utopia,” Broadview Press. Ed. 3. (November 29, 2005): 54–55. Accessed December 31, 2020. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/803547.The_Grasshopper
3 The Game Overanalyzer, The Aesthetics of Play | Why We Play Games, and the Search for Truth and Beauty in Game Design. The Game Overanalyzer. (January 11, 2020), accessed 6 January 2021. Video 18:44. https://youtu.be/lONsZwjVDzg
4 Hunicke, Robin, Marc LeBlanc, and Robert Zubek. "MDA: A formal approach to game design and game research." Proceedings of the AAAI Workshop on Challenges in Game AI, vol. 4, no. 1, p. 1722. (2004). Accessed January 11, 2020 https://www.aaai.org/Papers/Workshops/2004/WS-04-04/WS04-04-001.pdf
5 Portnow, James; Floyd, Daniel; Aesthetics of Play- Redefining Genres in Gaming. Extra Credits; (October 17, 2012), Video 9:13. Accessed December 30, 2020. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uepAJ-rqJKA&list=PL3N9QD4_yI-BlnwWUL8hhjpKgqRul3xAa&index=11
6 Suits, Bernard. “Discussion: Games and Paradox.” Chicago University Press. Philosophy of Science Association Journal, Vol 36, no. 3 (September 1, 1969). pg 316–.321. Accessed December 30, 2020. https://www.jstor.org/stable/186226
7 Suits, Bernard. “Discussion: Games and Paradox (1969)
8 Myers, David. “Game as Paradox: A Rebuttal of Suits.” Journal of the philosophy of Sport 39, no. 1 (May 1, 2012). Accessed December 30, 2020. https://search-ebscohost-com.ezproxy2.apus.edu/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=ip&db=s3h&AN=87342252&site=ehost-live&scope=site.
9 Juul, Jesper. "Half-Real: Video Games between Real Rules and Fictional Worlds", MIT Press, (Aug 19, 2011) pp.57-59
10 Tracy, Patrick. DM Tips: The Rule of Cool. Fantasy Bango. (October 20, 2017). Accessed December 30, 2020. Video 2:23 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8aAIFalx6s
11 Fletcher, Joseph F. Situation Ethics: The New Morality. Westminster John Knox Press, (1997). Page 17-26 (accessed January 20, 2021) http://bit.ly/Googlescholar_SItuational_Ethics
**Please note that just because Fletcher’s Situational Ethics is used prominently, this is not an endorsement of all his views. Fletcher’s work has been used to justify terrible atrocities, such as eugenics, this should serve to point out that any philosophy taken to extremes can lead to terrible outcomes
12 Fletcher, Joseph F. Situation Ethics: The New Morality. (1997)
13 Mercer, Matthew. The Rule of Cool! (Game Master Tips). Geek & Sundry. (February 16, 2016). Accessed December 30, 2020. Video. 5:52 https://youtu.be/fWZDuFIYkf0
14 Bryce, Nathan K., “Four Lenses Unfolded: A Deeper Understanding of Temperament Values,” Insight; (January 29, 2002,).
15 Mercer, Matthew. The Rule of Cool! (Game Master Tips). (2016).
16 McLaughlin, Kelly; Martin, Monty. "How to Run a Session Zero for Dungeons and Dragons 5e". Dungeon Dudes. (September 3, 2020), Accessed 12 30, 2020. Video. https://youtu.be/2MA-z5Ai-bQ
17 Wells, Orson, "The Big Brass Ring." Santa Teresa Press (1987, January 1) 1-148
18 Mulligan, Brennan; Scott, Benjamin. “Animating Your Table (with Benjamin Scott) | Adventuring Academy Season 2 | Ep. 16 |” Adventuring Academy. Dimension (2020, December 28). Accessed December 30, 2020. Video 1:24:18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IbVxEKpipo
19 Mulligan, Brennan; Scott, Benjamin. “Animating Your Table (with Benjamin Scott) (2020)
20 Mercer, Matthew. The Rule of Cool! (Game Master Tips). (2016)..
21 Mercer, Matthew. The Rule of Cool! (Game Master Tips). (2016)
22 Imbo, Frederik, "How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen" TEDx Talks; (March 4, 2020) accessed 10 Jan 2021, video 17:36 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnJwH_PZXnM&t=381s
23 Kensinger, Elizabeth. Remembering the Details: Effects of Emotion. US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health. (May 4, 2009) Accessed 2021, January 30 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2676782/
24 Mulligan, Brennan; Scott, Benjamin. “Animating Your Table (with Benjamin Scott) (2020)
25 Mearls, Mike, and Jeremy Crawford. "Dungeons Master's guide". Renton, WA: Wizards of the Coast. (2014) accessed 29 January 2021 https://www.dndbeyond.com/sources/dmg/running-the-game#MetagameThinking
26 Mulligan, Brennan; Mercer, Matthew. Building Your Own Campaign Setting (with Matthew Mercer) | Adventuring Academy. Dimension 20. (2019, April 3) Accessed December 30, 2020. Video 57:01 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sig8X_kojco&t=2867s
27 Mearls, Mike, and Jeremy Crawford. "Dungeons Master's guide". Renton, WA: Wizards of the Coast. (2014)-accessed 20 January 2021. https://www.dndbeyond.com/sources/dmg

Ok It's Time for my...Annual *Pre-Burning Man Rant and Predictions!!

Ok It's Time for my . . . Annual Pre-Burning Man Rant and Predictions!!!
After 22+ years of attendance, I have watched this festival go from what was described by Wired Magazine in 1997 as, "what the internet would be like if it was happening in reality" to 2020 where, "What? In reality, this festival is happening on the internet" ?!? What a serious head fuck . . .
So strap in or strap on and get ready for disappointment . . . like virtually everything in this virtual world right now.
Here goes this year's Virtual Rant!
PREDICTIONS
The Virtual Burn is going the be everything you think it could be . . . an underwhelming and depressing reminder that you are not going the real Burning Man this year.
While it is still better than nothing, nothing is an extremely low bar. Get ready for a clusterfuck of 8 separately-produced interpretive video game dreamscapes, made by skilled teams of programmers eager to prove that their world-building technology will be able to make future financial investors a shitload of money.
Burning Man 2021 is a 50/50 chance at best. 2022 is not looking that great either. Between The Org burning cash on side projects, the FEDs wanting to crack down hard and the Bureau of Land Management clearly pretty fucking stoked that they did not have to deal with the whole shitshow this year, it's going to be an uphill battle for the festival to return.
Huge changes will need to be made.
Those few gluttons for punishment who do decide to go to the playa this week will be treated to Burning Man without the Burning Man Experience.
It will take all the hard work, organization and preparation for survival in the middle of a harsh desert environment for a week of Burning Man . . . just without the Burning Man.
If there is one silver lining of the event not happening this year, it's the fact that I don't have to pack up my dust covered Burning Man bullshit from last year, drive 19 hours, then have to smuggle drugs inside my ass to make it past the BLM rangers just go camping in one of the most fucking miserable and inhospitable places on earth.
Without Shirtcockers, Megaphones and Massive Thumping Soundsystems, it's just a bogus camping trip in bad weather with a shitload of cops.
This year we will NOT be seeing the usual post-Burn MASSSIVE FLOOD of social media posts from Burners who lost their nice $60 water bottle/container somewhere on the playa, often accompanied by a story of why this particular water container was of importance because it has a strap on it, followed by a brief description of unique camps stickers on it and a photo of said missing water bottle/container. In fact, while we are starting to think about cutting costs -- How about lost and found stops giving a fuck about your overpriced water bottle. You lost it, Becky . . . let it go. You spent 20 times More Money on Cocaine for the week than the price of your fucking stoopid-Smart-Bottle-container.
THE VIRTUAL BURN
This year’s Virtual Burn brings about more questions than it does answers.
How will Shirtcockers express their hatred of pants without a Burning Man? In a virtual world, they become no different than unsolicited dick pics.
How will Artcar Owners be able to swing their metaphorical dicks around without their Artcars booming Deep House music to show the world their girth. Sure, you can build one in the Minecraft world for this years Burn . . .But lets face it: No one is gonna be like "Who did that 3D CAD drawing, I totally wanna fuck them!"
What will all the Assholes with Megaphones do without Burners to heckle?
Without handheld amplified audio devices and wide-open spaces, they become no different than Internet Trolls.
How will Hippies on a Vision Quest be able find their spirit animal online? Without a guided shamanic ritual and Temple to burn, they become no different than someone playing Animal Crossing.
If there is no moop or trash to clean up in a virtual Burning Man how can Moop-shamers be able to prove to campmates and others that they are better at "doing Burning Man " than everyone else? In a virtual world they become no different than a Sarah McLaughlin Green Peace commercial.
How will Dooshbonnets and Dooshbags be able to gain followers on Instagram without the giant Robot Heart to climb?
How can they show the world that they not only have braved the pool of Piranhas chomping for position for line, negotiated past the all-seeing and all-knowing doorgirl with a clipboard, proving that they have climbed both the social and physical ladder to reach the top of the Robot Heart, so that they may look down upon the lowly dancefloor with both spite and pity for the unwashed masses who where not able achieve such greatness.
Without this accomplishment, they become no different than average Twitter users vying for Celebrity attention.
How will Burning Man DJs be able to disappoint us with poorly executed timing and bullshit Michael Jackson remixes? Without huge Soundsystems to bang out the worst in modern electronic music, DJs just become . . . The SAME TERRIBLE DJs just now on Twitch! #playatech #Djstreaming #Djsofburningman
Although each Virtual World must have been an amazing feat of programming in its scope and size, it kinda feels like a huge project that was done in a short amount of time. None of the Eight Worlds, in any way, reflect the typical Burning Man experience.
However, there are a few non-official super realistic Burning Man simulators out there.
By far the most realistic experience has to be the "Getting Out More This Year" Simulator.
The player is welcomed to a rich and tangible 3D World of Chris's DopeAss 70s RV, which is camped way out on 4:30 and H, where your avatar can spend all day and all night doing fun things like Ketamine, or other colorful interactive game play such as snorting Ketamine, and even interact with the virtual Chris’s chat box and watch his avatar do Ketamine.
Other game play options include doing Ketamine, talking about doing Ketamine and also doing Ketamine.
The more days and nights spent doing Ketamine, the higher the score! If you want to experience what a typical Burner really does the whole week, than this one is for you!!
Then we have: "Let's Go Party" . . . the online multi-player game where the objective is to get your group of more than 6 Burners to try and leave camp, and all go out to party together.
I did not have much fun playing. I was never able to leave the front of camp. 14 hours of game play later, Brenda still needs to go back for chapstick and Ricky can’t find his bag of blow. Then once Brenda arrives ready, Kaleporia is cold and needs a scarf. Darkwad David is going back to get some blinky lights for the 3rd time. Now Timmy can't find his cigarettes . . . Fuck.
“ManBun Boyfriend”. In this first person POV game, you (the ManBun) has little to no control within the game, with only a single "Ok, Sure" button to navigate within the world. The game play opens as the player is dragged out of bed at 6 AM by the onscreen girlfriend who takes you (the ManBun) on an treacherous journey of sunrise yoga classes, self help lectures, think and grow rich seminars, yoga, positive affirmation workshops, mindful guided mediations, yoga, healing arts ceremonies, wellness and well-being talks, yoga, vegan lifestyle in the new age conferences, yoga, mindful-and-wellness-group-chat and also yoga.
Extra points if you can score a selfie in front of the Giant BELIEVE letters!!
After 8 grueling hours of game play, it simply flashes a screen where girlfriend says "I'm Tired", and the “ManBun Boyfriend” simulator then restarts game play to opening sequence.
“DJs Girlfriend”. This simulation offers a similar experience to “ManBun Boyfriend”. However, in this first person POV game, you (the DJs Girlfriend) is invited to Follow "Dj GlockTrigger" on a dubstep-and-monster-energy-drink-filled adventure as you (the DJs Girlfriend) is rushed from empty dancefloor to empty dancefloor, while picking up extra points if you can find him a "line of blow". After 12 hours of game play the screen flashes "Hey babe I'm gonna go drink with the boyies" and game play is reset.
THE RANT
I am not that great at finance. Obviously. I’ve been to Burning Man 22 times. That should tell you enough about my poor financial / life choices.
But even this burnout Burner can do the math and see that the Burning Man Org is in financial trouble.
Burning Man may need to sell out to save itself. It would not be the first time..
Burning Man "sold out" to the PsyTrance community in 1997. To help ticket sales, the Bay Area was flooded with seriously lame underproduced Rave flyers. Or maybe Dr. Dre can toss in a few million to keep The Org afloat once again.
Or hey why don't we start tickling Elon Musk's balls again, and see if we can start choking on his shaft in return for some sweet corporate demon semen sponsorship.
The Org has already gone pinky finger deep with him. Like when Tesla brought out a full-on Electric Car Expo. That's right, in 2007, at Burning Man, right at fucking Esplanade & 9:00, they had what can only be described as an “anonymous car dealership” from “the green future”, complete with lengthy-worded displays filled with lofty promises of clean energy, infused with subtle corporate propaganda.
In the center of the exhibit sat a life-size solid black plastic model Tesla car.
As well as someone on guard 24/7 to make sure no one tagged or fucked with the stoopid thing. I personally got chased out for drawing a dick in the DUST on the window! All I know is they should have burnt it down or blew it up by the end of the week, but that lame ass mother fucker was still there on Sunday when I journeyed back to draw a dick on it again -- this time with a PAINT PEN. After executing a perfect fat-sacked-choad-headed-donger on the hood, I was once again chased out by rangers, this time with pitchforks screaming bloody murder for my head!!
Fuck you, Ranger Doug! You will never be able to prove that was Me!!!
So Look, it's not the first time The Org spread its asscheeks for a little bit of corporate dick on the side. They also bent over back in 2013 and let Mark Fucking Zuckerberg bring a Giant Golden 'LIKE' sculpture out there. I just hope they did the right thing by the end of week and it was killed with fire.
SO we know The Org is corporateBiCurious. Time to snuggle up, get out of the corporate cocksucking closet and cash in on the fact that this place sold out a long time ago.
Start flirting with attractive corporate entities like Mark Z, the Google Boys, Elon, Tommy Boy from Myspace, or maybe even P-Diddy to toss in some cash to get this fucking party started again!
Yo, Elon! How can we have Burning Man on Mars in 2050 as planned, if we can’t keep it going on Earth for the next 30 years?
At this point, The Org can spread their legs in the backseat of that Tesla and change next years theme to Space-X. I could give a FUCK!!!!! As long as we can keep Old Naked Dudes On Bikes rolling free.
Let some of these cocksucking limpdick corporations like Doritos -- who have already profited from using our Artcars and culture in a their fabricated commercials -- actually fucking pay us money and we will let them shoot a real commercial out there. Have fun pixelating the nipples out of the background actors. I COULD GIVE A FUCK as long as Shirtcockers have a natural habitat to dongslap and roam free. Let Brazzers.com build the Temple! I sincerely really don't care what they do . . . as long as Assholes with Megaphones have wide open spaces to heckle Burners in the Black Rock Desert like GOD intended.
BACK TO BASICS : THE FESTIVAL WILL NEED TO RESEST
Maybe The Org will stop fisting themselves in the burnhole with all the Cultural-Direction-Bullshit and get down to brass tax here.
They have spent years trying to market the festival as a family-friendly-non-offensive-all-inclusive-experience for the suburban upperclass while still catering to the super elite.
We need The Org to provide the DPW and Tickets . . .
Not for Cultural Direction, or Large Scale Art Funding Circle Jerks, Abstract Charity Causes, International Involvement, or any of the Meaningless Feel-Good Propaganda tools they use to control the image of the festival!
The number one focus from here on out needs to be the festival itself taking place once again in Black Rock City!
This defacto-defunding of The Org is a blessing. Look, when it comes down to it, it's not about the lame fucking themes each year. It's about the Burners who come and contribute to the festival that makes it special.
It’s not about overpriced art grants, or Rich-Dick Theme Camp placement priorities. It about the shitty unofficial un-themed camp at 7:00 and J blaring Discotrance music on a distorted soundsystem while giving away room temperature margaritas!
I could give a fuck about all of the elaborate expensive blinking bullshit! Cuts cost! Make the Burning Man effigy from toothpicks for all I give a fuck. None of that shit really matters. The spirit of Burning Man is in the person giving away ice cream from a cooler out in deep playa on a hot afternoon.
The soul of the festival is in Old Naked Dudes on a Bikes rolling free across the desert!
The heart of the festival is the Nightmare Hippy Chick on Acid rolling around in the dust, screaming about her spirit vegetable.
Believe me if The Org had its way, Burning Man would be nothing but Transformational Mediation Seminars, Yoga Classes, Ultra Overpriced Sculptures, and TED talks about how to get rich quick selling a new type of investment portfolio.
I am perfectly happy with the crappy bars and half-assed theme camps that are there just to have a good time. We don't need The Org's unique brand of new age capital-elitism bullshit.
They have clearly dropped the ball on the Cultural Direction for years, and the less they steer the ship, the better, cuz we have already washed up on the rocks.
BULLSHIT CLICKBAIT
“Top 10 Burning Man Pictures You Must See To Believe!”
And once clicked, sure enough it’s nothing but a bunch of super basic-ass photos of some super-hot-Coachella-swinger-couple at sunset in front of the most gentrified “OMG I need to get a selfie in front that to show my followers on Instagram” artwork on the playa.
You already know exactly where these fucksticks took the stoopid photo is front of, OF fucking course it's in front of the BELIEVE letters. It’s Basically the "live, laugh, love" of playa art.
Really, I won't believe this ?!
What I won't believe is that their relationship is going to last beyond next week . . . cuz there’s a 90% chance they are gonna join the wrong gangbang at the Orgy Dome and suddenly someone is not happy about the amount of buttfucking the other one received.
Thanks Business Insider Magazine for exposing the public to the wild and crazy world that is Burning Man. Now every fucking Chad and Becky from Wall Street is trying to come here to get laid. "Bro if I was there I would bang so many Hot Chicks on top of those letters" . . . "OMG I LOVE those Letters!! We are SOOO going to Burning Man to meet our future husbands <3."
How about 10 REAL photos you won’t believe?
Too bad the cameras weren’t there to snap a picture of the guy who took a shower with a fat chick and midget porn star!
It’s a shame no one from the Daily Mail UK was there to catch video of the guy who was tripping his nuts off and could not figure out how to unlock the door of the porta-potty -- escaping only by busting through the plastic roof and climbing out the top several hours later.
Or how about that chick at the meditation camp that was able to summon a higher power of consciousness and transcended the spacetime continuum for a short/infinite amount of time!
Where the fuck was BoredPanda.com to catch a photo of the person who was hit with a rubber dildo when it was carelessly thrown from the top of the Space Pirate ship into the Mayan Warrior crowd.
Now That’s some real stuff that happens out there that I would be happy to clickbait on!
THERE WILL BE SOME CHANGES MADE
The Large Scale Art:
Instead of funding massive installations that end up being resold to casinos on the Las Vegas strip, why not treat them like large Rich-Dick Theme Camps -- give the Installation Artists 200 DGS Tickets, and in return, these assholes will be happy to spend shitloads of money on blinky light towers or whatever, just so they can lock in those sweet sweet reserved tickets for themselves and their friends.
The Tone:
The Utopian Blinkylight Dreamscape has been cool for the past 16 years . . . Buuuut . . . it has gradually fallen out of touch with the world around us.
For far too long, The Org has ignored camps or underfunded art that could be perceived as dark or controversial in any way, shape or form.
Yet again, another example of their Cultural Direction Tactics to market Burning Man as a blinky-light-mickey-mouse-Epcot-Center for wealthy-business-insiders-and-celebrities featuring a safespace-family-oriented-wholesome-body-wellness-green-living-environment for social-media-influencer-photo-shoots.
Burning Man has NEVER been a Safe place!
In 1998, I witnessed a beheading by guillotine at the Opera Performance that was so realistic I spent the next 5 hours (still frying balls on acid!) convinced that Billy Graham was right about this place being a Satanic death cult that would bring about the end of the world.
IT WAS DISTURBING!
If the Barbie Death Camp incident at last years’ Burn taught us anything, it is that there clearly need to be risky and controversial works of art at the festival.
We can't be having pussy-footed Australians throwing temper tantrums like little punk bitches CUZ they don't like the way someone put Barbie Dolls inside an oven!
Why did that do-good-koala-humping-limpdick-ASS-licker think it was OK? Well . . .The Org has shoved the narrative that Burning Man is strictly "good vibes only" down our fucking throats so deep that we finally gagged from it.
Why the fuck was that guy even there? Well, he clicked on the Business Insiders’ “Top Ten Burning Man Photos You Must See To BELIEVE” and thought it was gonna be nothing but butterfly sculptures and Instagram Models in front of giant letters.
No Kids:
Yep. Sorry Minecraft Burners, but you are gonna have to wait until you are 21 to come to this party!
Renegotiating the insurance policy as an over-21 festival will save The Org millions and millions of dollars.
Out of 80,000 people, less than .05% are under 21 . . .yet we have to check IDs at every fucking bar !?
Every year the gate gets closed down and no one can filter in or out because someone asshole can't find their kid. This should be a HUGE red flag !
Law Enforcement uses the fact that minors are allowed at the event as justification to engage in predatory conduct such as undercover stings, camp raids and random tickets for unsuspecting bartenders who forget to check IDs.
Also I am not comfortable with the legal grey area the Shirtcocking and Titbouncing in the presence of minors creates.
And if it ever comes down to nudity versus allowing kids, I am sorry but we can't sacrifice the heart of this festival on account of the fact that you don't want to get a fucking babysitter for the week.
Your kids could give a flying-donald-duck-fuck about Burning Man! You and I both know goddamn well that given the opportunity they would rather play video games for the week at grandma's house then have to listen to Mom and Dad fight at Burning Man all week about who got buttfucked by whom at the Orgy Dome. . .
LEAVE THEM AT HOME!!!!!!
So the rest of us can be free to fuck, drink, smoke and wave our goddamn dicks and clits around whereever we see fit!!!
The Temple:
In the early days of the David Best Temples, they were constructed from the leftover hollows of wooden dinosaur jigsaw puzzle pieces.
It was low cost, recycled and pretty fucking cool!
Last year’s Temple was overdesigned, structurally unsound, and made from rare rustic-oak hardwood and redwood trees imported from China.
Let’s cut costs and just do what those guys from Belgium did in 2005. It's a Very Simple Plan. We get a shitload of old 2x4 boards and fucking Wing It! The Belgium Waffle House would have made a perfectly good Temple.
Garbage Dumpsters:
Yep, that's right. In the future we will have dumpsters at Burning Man! All the Survivalist and Moop-shaming Burners say it will destroy the festival. Guess what, Burn Nut? It's already common practice for larger theme camps to rent dumpsters that are emptied at the end of the week!! It's been going on for YEARS! So what?
Theme Camps will now have to pay a dumpster fee and there will be strict rules around any public dumpsters. Believe me The Org will provide the minimum amount possible to accommodate the BLM. It won't be nearly enough dumpsters for everyone to just toss all their trash, recycling and extra bikes into.
Don't worry, Radical Self-Reliant Survivalist Burnertypes, other people will still have to suffer packing up and dealing with their own trash on the ride home. Moop-shamers rejoice! You will definitely still be able to shame people for mooping and not cleaning up, if not even more so now. I don't see why we can't be Radically Self-Reliant by having dumpsters on site. We will still Leave No Trace, while leaving one less thing for surrounding communities to bitch about.
Build the Wall !!!
Ya fuck it! Build the Wall. So what? Honestly, it will be more aesthetically pleasing than that fucking orange fence. And if that is what the Feds want, that's cool with me -- as long as The Org gets to choose who does Security!
Thank fucking god we are not doing Burning Man this year.
With the world on fire all around us, it seems a bit tone-def to hold a giant rave utopia party!
I, for one, will be enjoying the week indoors under air-conditioning and rolling around in the heaps of cash I am saving by not going. I’m not attending a single workshop to expand my consciousness, not giving a single gift to anyone, and not being radical or self-reliant in any way.
Fuck your Virtual Burn.
I am Zapper Jones. I will see you in the Dust again . . . Sometime Somewhere in the Future!

Federal Stimulus Check

[FIGHT PREVIEWS] Miguel Vazquez vs Denis Shafikov, Zou Shiming vs Yokthong Koietgym, Daniel Geale vs Garth Wood, Hank Lundy vs Angelo Santana, the Boxcino tournament, Ik Yang vs Petchsamthur Duanaaymukdahan + more

Monday February 17

From Salinas Storm House, Salinas, California
Time: 7:00 PM PST, 10:00 PM EST, 3:00 AM GMT
Television: Fox Sports 1 (USA)
Fight Thread: Yes
##Manuel Avila 13(5)-0 vs Enrique Quevedo 15(9)-6-1
10 rounds
super bantamweight division
Salinas, California was the setting for John Steinbeck’s (and later Elia Kazan’s) critically acclaimed East of Eden. The movie starred James Dean as a troubled teen looking for a place where he belonged in a world where his mother was estranged and his brother was the perfect son in the eyes of his father. Salinas will have another 15 minutes of fame this Monday, and Avila will need a breakout performance on the level of James Dean to put Salinas back on the map. Or at least himself. Avila is only 21 and still very green and early in his development. He’s a big super bantamweight who I imagine will settle at featherweight. Quevedo is a tough Mexican who’s been in with tougher opponents than Avila and should be a good test.

Paul Mendez 14(6)-2-2 vs Raul Casarez 20(9)-4

10 rounds
middleweight division

Wednesday February 19

From Horden Pavilion, Moore Park, New South Wales, Australia
Time: 6:15 PM EDT, 11:15 PM PST (2/18), 2:15 AM (2/19)
Television: Main Event (AUS)
Fight Thread: Yes

Daniel Geale 29(15)-2 vs Garth Wood 12(8)-3-1

12 rounds
middleweight division
They’re actually fighting for Pan Pacific and a Pan African title, but they have no bearing on the world title scene. 32 year old Daniel Geale is coming off a tough loss that could have went either way against Darren Barker. The last time he’d lost was against Anthony Mundine back in 09 and since then had built a solid reputation as one of the best middleweights in the world. He avenged his loss to Mundine (which was a split decision the first time around), beat Sebastian Sylvester for the IBF middleweight title, beat Osumanu “Good Boy” Adama over 12 rounds, and the biggest win of his career, he went into Germany and beat Felix Sturm on the cards. If you don’t know what that’s like, it’s similar to beating Bowser in Mario Tennis on his home court. Geale is as tough as they come, although he didn’t begin his career that way. Early on he was a bit chinny and was dropped many times. He either learned defense or moving to middleweight was a big help as he hasn’t been dropped since 2008.
His opponent is Garth Wood. Wood was originally supposed to fight Martin Murray on the Monte Carlo card a couple weeks ago. Wood is an exlusively Australian fighter who’s got a very impressive win over Anthony Mundine… actually, it’s not. Mundine was winning just about every second of the fight before Wood landed this ridiculous uppercut that knocked Mundine out. It was one of those body-stiffening punches. Frankly, I understand the reason for Geale taking the fight. This is probably a big deal in Australia, but I think Geale could have easily gotten a fight with any of the top middleweights out there. He didn’t get wiped out against Barker and in fact performed with a ton of grit and heart. I really look forward to a fight between Golovkin and Geale.

Thursday February 20

From Centro de Convenciones Figali, Panama City, Panama
Time: ?
Television: TV Max Channel 9 (Panama)
Fight Thread: No

Luis Concepcion 30(22)-3 vs Carlos Fontes 17(14)-1

12 rounds
WBC silver flyweight title
Panamanian Concepcion is riding a bit of a winning streak since getting stopped by Tyson Marquez. He’s won 7 straight fights and stopped 4 of his opponents. But let’s not start thinking about putting Concepcion in with the big boys at flyweight. His opponents have been just good enough to look good, but not good enough to convince me he’s ready to get back on the world level. They’ve all lacked pop or world experience. The other thing is that flyweight is stacked right now. Akira Yaegashi sits on top and it seems we’re finally going to get the fight we’ve all been wanting, as he will take on the arguable (I don’t buy it, many do) #2 flyweight in the world, Roman Gonzalez. Even if Concepcion wanted the leftovers, Juan Francisco Estrada would gladly take him and so would heavy handed Giovani Segura. So, Concepcion still has a ways to go. He’s definitely got a case to be in the top 10 at flyweight, but I’m not sure if he’ll ever hold another title. One thing is certain though. Concepcion will never be in a dull fight.

Friday February 21

From Dover Downs Hotel & Casino, Dover, Delaware
Time: ?
Television: Not televised
Fight Thread: No

Ray Robinson 16(7)-2 vs Aslanbek Kozaev 25(7)-0-1

10 rounds
welterweight division
Well… it’s not that Ray Robinson. It’s The New Ray Robinson. Seriously, that’s his nickname. He’s from Philly and his only losses have come against undefeated fighters. So bet the house on Kozaev. Actually, I wouldn’t. Robinson is the favorite and is arguably a top 30 welterweight.
From Edgewater Hotel & Casino, Laughlin, Nevada
Time: 6:00 PM PST, 9:00 PM EST, 2:00 AM GMT
Television: ESPN2 (USA)
Fight Thread: Yes

Yakubu Amidu 21(19)-4-2 vs Chris Rudd 12(8)-1

6 rounds
lightweight division
Art Pellulo’s Banner Promotions has put together a tournament. One in the lightweight division and one in the middleweight division. I think Amidu is the dark horse in this tournament. He’s tough as hell and beat Juan Carlos Burgos on one judge’s scorecard last summer in an outdoor fight when it was 100 degrees in Southern California. Rudd lacks experience and enters the tournament after suffering his first career loss. A win here (and ultimately the tournament) would be Rudd’s coming out party.

Fedor Papazov 14(9)-0 vs Peter Petrov 32(15)-4-2

6 rounds
lightweight division
Papazov has a hilarious nickname. It’s ‘Knockout Man.’ Petrov’s claim to fame is that he was knocked out by Maidana back in 2011. I think Knockout Man has this one in the bag.

Miguel Gonzalez 22(16)-3 vs Miguel Angel Mendoza 21(21)-2-2

6 rounds
lightweight division
Many people will look at Mendoza’s record and immediately say ‘yep, that’s the favorite. The dude with all the knockouts. His hands must compare to cinderblocks.’ Except that his 3 opponents he’s faced with decent records either knocked him out or beat him easily (or the fight was stopped after 3 rounds on a draw). Gonzalez on the other hand is nicknamed Silky Smooth. He was shut out against Mike Dallas Junior, but... actually, I was going to try to make a case for him winning, but I can’t. This should be a fun fight.

Fernando Carcamo 15(12)-5 vs Samuel Kotey Neequaye 21(15)-0

6 rounds
lightweight division
Neequaye is my pick to win this thing. He’s undefeated and made it to the Beijing Olympics (albeit not very far.) Carcamo seems to lose every time he gets on a roll and given that he’s won 5 straight by stoppage, he’s probably due for the upset.
From Twin River Event Center, Lincoln, Rhode Island
Time: ?
Television: Not televised
Fight Thread: No

Glen Johnson 53(36)-18-2 vs Jamie Velasquez 11(6)-5-2

8 rounds
light heavyweight division
Yep, Glen Johnson is back. I know Johnson’s time is done, especially at the elite level, but I gotta give it to him. In the past 5 years he’s fought the top opposition out there. He’s fought George Groves (L), Andrzej Fonfara (L), Lucian Bute (L), Carl Froch (L, a majority decision at that!), Tavoris Cloud (L), and Chad Dawson (L). Even in defeat, does anyone have a better resume?

Alvin Varmall Jr 1(1)-0 vs Andre Ward 1(1)-1-4

4 rounds
cruiserweight division
Is this serious? Is Andre Ward trying to pull a fast one on us? He’s gotten fat and is trying to make a run at cruiserweight?
From Wolstein Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Time: 7:45 PM PST, 10:45 PM EST, 3:45 AM GMT
Television: Showtime (USA)
Fight Thread: Yes

Angelo Santana 14(11)-1 vs Henry ‘Hank’ Lundy 23(11)-3-1

10 rounds
lightweight division
We haven’t seen Hank Lundy since last summer when we all thought Olusegun Ajose would either wipe him out or give us a fight of the year candidate given his performance against Matthysse. Not the case. Lundy pulled off a landslide win snapping a 2 fight losing streak. Lundy has 3 losses, but they’re to solid opponents and Santana would do well not to overlook Lundy. Santana is a Don King fighter (this is a Don King card if you wanted to boycott it) and a Cuban defector. Santana had been on a 7 fight knock out streak before he himself got knocked out against little known Uzbekistanian Bahodir Mamadjonov in his most recent fight. All we can hope for here is a good fight.

Amir Imam 12(11)-0 vs Jared Robinson 14(6)-0

10 rounds
light welterweight division
This is the battle of 2 undefeated guys with great nicknames. It’s the Young Master vs The Quiet Storm. I’ll leave it to you to guess which is which.

Saturday February 22

From Celebrity Theater, Phoenix, Arizona
Time: 7:00 PM PST, 10:00 PM EST,
Television: Live streamed (and free) at www.iron-boy.com
Fight Thread: Yes

Alexis Santiago 15(7)-3-1 vs Hanzel Martinez 20(16)-1

10 rounds
bantamweight division
This fight has drama and excitement written all over it, and given it's being streamed online, should be an easy choice for anyone looking for some fight action this Saturday night. Santiago has 3 losses on his record. All 3 losses came against undefeated opponents. His last loss was back in the summer of 2012 and now he’s riding a 4 fight in streak that includes stoppages in his last 2 fights. His opponent, Hanzel Martinez, isn’t so hot right now. Although he won his last fight, the one before it was a 2nd round knockout loss in his first real step up in competition. Santiago, in my estimation, is on par with the man who stopped Martinez. These are 2 young guys fighting for their future in the sport. A film crew chronicled the training camp of Alexis Santiago as he prepared for the bout and can be seen here.

Siarhei Liakhovich 25(16)-6 vs Chad Davis 5(1)-11

8 rounds
heavyweight division
Liakhovich is one fight removed from a fight with Deontay Wilder and if you're wondering why the former heavyweight titlist is facing an inexperienced opponent with more losses than wins, perhaps it's because Liakhovich has been stopped in his last three fights and has won 2 fights in his last seven. This could either be a new start for the 37 year old or maybe a last grab at a small bit of glory.
From Ice Arena, Hull, Yorkshire, UK
Time: 2:00 PM PST, 5:00 PM EST, 10:00 PM GMT
Television: Sky Sports (UK)
Fight Thread: Yes

Tommy Coyle 17(7)-2 vs Daniel Brizuela 25(8)-2-2

12 rounds
IBF international lightweight title
I like Coyle a lot. He’s got obvious vulnerabilities and boxes well enough to compensate most of the time. Brizuela is a perfect opponent for him. He’s fought mostly in Argentina and isn’t a big punching threat.

Darren Hamilton 14(3)-2 vs Curtis Woodhouse 21(13)-6

12 rounds
BBBofC british light welterweight title
This is a typical fight that has warranted a lot of criticism of Frank Warren and Eddie Hearn (who is promoting this card.) It’s a 12 round fight with 2 guys who aren’t big punchers. Woodhouse is a bit chinny and prone to being outboxed, but he’s also as tough as they come. I don’t know much about Hamilton other than he’s got a UD win over Ashley Theophane. I expect Hamilton to pull off the win.

Gavin McDonnell 10(3)-0-1 vs Leigh Wood 11(4)-0

12 rounds
vacant BBBofC british super bantamweight title
McDonnell has mostly fought inexperienced opposition with a few losses on their record until this point. Wood has faced experienced guys with a ton of wins and losses on their record. It should be an interesting fight, and I believe Wood has more upside of the 2 (though I favor McDonnell here.) Interesting note is that Leigh Wood’s nickname is Leigh-thal. Ik Yang needs a cool nickname like that.

Luke Campbell 4(3)-0 vs Scott Moises 8(2)-8-1

8 rounds
lightweight division
Campbell is one of boxing’s hottest prospects. Not in that way. I mean, Campbell won gold at the London games and my dream scenario would be for him to face Lomachenko somewhere down the line for a lightweight title. Eddie Hearn is doing a good job with Campbell. He’s not rushing him into anything and allowing him to develop as a professional. He doesn’t have the pedigree that Lomachenko does and has thus far fared very well as a pro. He’s a long southpaw, he’s quick, and puts combinations together nicely. If I had a criticism of him, it’s that he doesn’t move his head that much and looks a bit rigid. I’m sure this will change as he develops. Don’t let his baby face fool you. This guy can snatch the body with the best of them.
more previews in comments

Join us for the Fight Threads to discuss the fights & get help finding a place to watch.
Stay tuned this week for the Canelo-Angulo Viewing Guide in anticipation of their upcoming pay-per-view fight. This viewing guide will be a little different than the ones of the past. (Viewing guides provide analysis of the fights, links to previous fights, where to watch the fight, fighter trivia, and more.)

Welcome to Bullhead City AZ. Unless you're homeless, then you could just fuck off!

Welcome to BullShit city. We recently moved here about 7 months ago from L.A. California. (My girlfriends mom bought a mobile home out here after she sold the house in California to be closer to her cousin). My girlfriend lives with her mom and our 2yr old son. I come and go between CA and bullhead city for months at a time to be with my son. Still in the process of finding a more permanent residence out here. But I'm not feeling it. Their is next to nothing out here. No form of entertainment other then shopping or casinos, or parks. You have a Kmart, Wal-Mart, various fast food chains, target, Ross, bath and body, one dollar tree, plenty of gas stations, water sport rentals, repair shops, motels, stuff like that but no actual malls. And the main stores I.e walmart, Kmart, target and ross (same complex), big lots are all spread pretty decently apart from each other. Laughlin Outlet center is an absolute joke. Most stores are gone and what's left is nothing of interest or highly priced stores where items can be found much cheaper elsewhere. Not to mention the 'food court' consist of only two food places, an arcade with games from the '80's and outdated posters from early 2000. Don't forget the car rides that don't even work. Some thrift stores such as goodwill and whatnot. But most aren't even worth your time. Most have nothing of value but try to overprice most items. Possibly due to not having much bussiness to begin with. Their is only ONE public laundry mat. Also expensive compared to California (has highest cost of living in all of united states), washers are super tiny $2.00, triple loaders $3.25 are no bigger then your average washer size at home, dry is $0.75 for 9 mins. Or a much smaller dryer that you can barely fit one load in that runs 40 mins but cost $1.25 and forget about adding more time by adding a quarter or two. I found out the hard way. It does not add time but instead requiring the entire $1.25 to be added yet again. All other laundry mats have been either shut down or no longer exist.
It is ILLEGAL to sleep in your vehicle or RV (except paid camp sites), anywhere in Mojave county (was informed by police officer (the hard way), that it's the only county in a 40 mile radius that has such a law. You can be arrested and have your car impounded if caught sleeping in it, ANYWHERE (even if out of the way miles from any bussiness or building, in the desert.) You will be arrested! I recieved a warning. After seven months of off and on parking overnight at the local 24hr walmart. (Never had a problem or was told to leave at all) Have seen signs saying no overnight RV parking. But during 'snow bird' season. That's all you see. Never seen anyone arrested. So I thought it was ok. Not only was I not bothering anyone. I was confronted by the rudest officer (first officer I had contact with) who in the end threatens to arrest me for no reason. When I was actually going into the store and wasn't gonna sleep overnight on the lot but elsewhere. It was only 12 am. Apparently parking away from everyone else (how's that illegal? It's a huge parking lot, I have every right to park where ever I please on a parking lot I'm gonna go into the bussiness on. Plus nothing wrong with exercise) And putting up my sunscreen even though it's dark made me look 'suspicious' I'm sorry officer for protecting my privacy (my front windows are not tinted nor were blocked), and keeping peering eyes from seeing what's inside my vehicle. It's a long story. But he basically said he did not want to see my face again, its the first time we ever crossed paths (I couldn't even see his thanks to the blinding light in my face, and never got his name even when I requested it) in his county again or I'll be arrested. I did nothing wrong, I did not break any law. And he did not catch me sleeping in my vehicle because I wasn't. They have lot's of druggies and criminals out here. Yet I'm the one they harass. Also you can sleep in your vehicle on your own property and still be arrested. How stupid is that? Also a month ago their was a couple screaming at each other for over two hours. Literally yelling at each other on that same walmart parking lot. For over 2 hrs around 1 am to 3 am prior to leaving. No cops ever showed up. I didn't call because I didn't want to bring attention to myself. But yet me not doing anything or disturbing the peace, am the one harassed by an officer? The night before a truck pulled up about 4-5 parking spaces away from me. Then proceeded to have what looked like a little romp inside. They didn't leave till 5 am. No officers ever came. I parked around the same spot I normally do. Was only there not even 10 mins after 12am. Before being approached then threatened. I was mostly worried about a random citizen with ill intent approaching me. Never thought it would be a man of the law that would threaten to arrest me for some retarded law I wasn't even aware of. Nor can you find it if you google it. But according to the watch commander I called and spoke with. Its in fact a real law. It's private property I understand. But even if you have an ok from the store manager themselves. You can still be arrested.
It is ILLEGAL to be homeless in Mojave county period. If your homeless and move here (I'm not, just homless here not in California), you are going to have a bad time. Forget the heat. The cop's are what you have to worry about. Doesn't matter if your a law abiding homeless person. You're breaking the law just by simply lacking a place to live. If you're homeless with a car they will take your 'home' from you. And trust me you won't get it back. Along with giving you a jail cell. Protect and serve my A$$. They spend more time harassing the homeless then they do arresting druggies or thieves. Which their are plenty of. Instead they have to make my visit with my son even more difficult then it already is.
You can carry a concealed weapon. I.e. guns, bowie knife, machete, large knives etc. But if you're homeless......
You can deal drugs, do drugs, publicly drink alcohol, steal, and assault someone, rant for two hours screaming at the top of your lungs at 1 am-3am in a walmart parking lot. But if you sleep in your vehicle and/or are homeless...
There are several incidences I came to find where officers have shot and killed unarmed homeless people. Cop's don't get in trouble really. Is this a city you'd want to visit? Put money into their casinos? That is ok with something like this?
Cost of living is next to nothing. Minimum wage is next to nothing $7.50 an hr. Most places do not provide benefit's. Nor full time, instead hiring more people part time to avoid giving benefits. Health care is next to nill. Our 2yr old son had an emergency (couldn't breath) which required an ambulance. And his California medi-cal would not cover the expenses or wasn't accepted to begin with. Leaving us with a $4,154 ambulance bill (only took him 4 miles away) and $2000 in doctor fees. Even though we proved our inability to pay. They still come after us.
A neighbor who works for the local casino in laughlin NV. Said he worked there for 13 yrs. And this is how it works. If you take $7.50 an hour you'll get benifits after 2 yrs of working. If you take $8.50 an hour you get no benifits. It's worthless moving here. Utilities cost double (hence why the laundry mat is so expensive) so pair that with low hourly wage. It's not that much different then living anywhere else.
Their is next to nothing out here. Very boring long term. Cops would rather harass and threaten innocent people then do their job.
It's ok to visit i guess. But if your bringing an RV it's best to go to a motel, paid camping site, or stay in laughlin. Because if your caught staying in it overnight in any 24hr parking lot. You're risking arrest and having the rv and any other vehicles impounded.
All this desert and land, yet very little around to do. Most places don't even come up on the map if you do a general search. Type 'Fun' for example. Most things related that come up are the casino's. Last I checked it's no fun when you're losing money. All laughlin has is the casino's and the sorry excuse for a mall outlet center. Not much else. Looking for a more residential like area. You either have to drive all the way to las Vegas 75 miles away, lake Havasu 60 miles away, or Kingman (not much different than here) 40 miles away.
Unless you don't mind heat or lack of entertainment. Their is no reason to even visit, let alone live here. Like another poster stated. Unless you have money to spend at the casino's, or have boats or off road stuff, their isnt much else to do. And most jobs are dead end jobs with next to nothing as payment for your work. I have a couple broken teeth and from what I can tell by seeing others. Dental care is next to nothing also. With no benifits and little left after taxes, getting your own healthcare would harm you more financially then help.
Honestly if it wasn't for my son and gf. I would leave never to return. This place is a joke. Founded in the 80's yet still has nothing to show for it. And their animosity towards homeless people (who have enough problems as it is) more so then drug dealers, addicts, or thieves. Makes it even less desirable. Granted rent is considerably cheaper then elsewhere. Same goes for gas. The utilities make up for it. Basically making it not all that much less then living in L.A.
Mobile homes also have very little durability and will not increase in value as time goes by. You'll pay more fixing or repairing them over time then they are worth. They aren't very well insulated either. Many of her mom's doors are poorly fitted. And at one time this home had been broken into quite a bit. The garage side door has been boarded shut. House side door has like four locks on it (deadbolt (doesn't latch frame is warped), knob (also doesnt latch), three straight bolts (one will not latch), and one on a chain. Can still see straight through the edges to outside. Some windows have been broken into. And a camera had been installed at one time. She had to replace the entire faucet and shower head unit in the main bathroom along with a full re-tile. Their are many leaks where their shouldn't be in door and Window frames. So it's really hot in the summer and cold in the winter. Wiring is poor too. She paid $80,000 for a three bedroom two bath. 2 car garage. Came fully furnished with an interior design you'd find in a motel from the '70's. Complete with three flower couches. Not worth it, even if fully furnished. a front and back yard devoid of grass. Nothing but gravel.
Can't tell if my GF's mom is losing it because of the heat or what. But since she's moved here, she's now highly addicted to Rocks (not the drug slang) actual rocks. She's now a bonified rock collector. Guess it's kind of due to being not much else to do around here.
Our next door neighbors prior to moving out were druggies. No cop interference. And the new ones that moved in (also from L.A.) only come every now and then and are not permanent residents. Mostly during weekends. They are generally nice. But tend to blast their music or t.v. or be loud in general really late into the night and early morning. Once again no cops showing up. But if I sleep in my truck out front of the house.....you get the idea.
As of this time their are no homeless shelters or day centers available. Even though their are more than a dozen buildings, that are either shutdown, or went out of bussiness, spread out all over the city. Plenty of unused land. And according to the local news website. More than 96 confirmed homeless families. And talk about possibly opening up a facility of some sort. Sometime next year. But in the mean time the local PD will continue to just arrest them. All that money the casino's make and no way of trying to open up some sort of charity to help? All the money renting out water and off road equipment to those from all over. Yet no suggestions.
They really do not care. Their only solution is to make an already hard life harder, and try and force the less fortunate out of the city. All that money spent funding a war that shouldn't be. Yet no help for the very country that claims to be the greatest and free.
Officer Crawford, the one that showed me no compassion. And we never met before. Was the same one in the news I read about assisting homeless. Playing it off as if he actually cares. When he threatened to arrest me on absolutely no hard evidence of me actually breaking a law. Just assumption.
Funny how red, white, and blue are a symbol of freedom.....until they are flashing behind you....

Already tired of the snow. Want to come home. What skills should I hone over the next year or so to be more marketable than I was when I left?

[WEEKEND RECAP] Miguel Vazquez vs Denis Shafikov, Zou Shiming vs Yokthong Kokietgym, Tommy Coyle vs Daniel Brizuela, Daniel Geale vs Garth Wood + more

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nottheonion	Man claimed on Facebook he ran a circumcision service — from his 'cabin in the woods'	Facebook
Showerthoughts	Whenever I see a targeted advertisement from Google that actually applies to me, I wish that I had an option to tell them that their algorithm is working, it's just that I don't want to click on their ads.	Google
movies	Looks like Warner Bros. is gearing up for a new Matrix movie.	Warner Bros.
news	Yahoo breach - US to charge Russian spies - BBC News	BBC
todayilearned	TIL that Royal Mail is still legally obliged to issue stamps with the Queen's face and She has to approve the image.	Royal Mail
WritingPrompts	WP The United States and Russia start a nuclear winter from their recent war. Years later as the countries strike a truce and begin to rebuild, the White House recieves a message,"The penguins have taken South America and are marching for our border."	United
AskReddit	I remember one time when both Dominos and Pizza Hut lowered their prices at the same time. How is it possible unless they had planned it together?	Pizza Hut
news	Russian hackers charged in massive Yahoo breach, 'largest data breach in US history'	Yahoo
news	U.S. Indicts Four in Theft of 500 Million Yahoo Accounts	Yahoo
worldnews	U.S. Indicts Four in Theft of 500 Million Yahoo Accounts	Yahoo
OldSchoolCool	Howard Cosell and John Lennon in October of 1974 at the New York headquarters of ABC Radio.	ABC
personalfinance	Keep 2015 Jeep or sell to lower debt?	Jeep
worldnews	Russian hackers charged in massive Yahoo breach, one in custody in Canada	Yahoo
news	U.S. Indicts Four, Including Russian Spies, in Theft of 500 Million Yahoo Accounts	Yahoo
Showerthoughts	When I replace the Uber driver's radio station with the music on my phone, I feel like I'm abusing one of the hosts in Westworld and there is nothing they can do about it.	Uber
worldnews	Justice Department charging Russian spies and criminal hackers in Yahoo intrusion	Yahoo
worldnews	US charges two Russian spies and two hackers in Yahoo data breach	Yahoo
worldnews	U.S. indicts Russian spies, hackers over massive Yahoo hack	Yahoo
WritingPrompts	WP The Dinosaurs have initiated a nuclear holocaust, and all life on Earth is to be eradicated. The United Counsel of Mammals prepares the ID-inator, a device that will wipe the ability of consciousness for all organisms present. However, a large sect is in uproar and refuses to enter the machine	United
Music	Astrale - Above the Sky Electronic	Sky
news	Russia backed Yahoo email hack, two Russian spies charged	Yahoo
worldnews	Facebook—in hate-crime clash with MPs—claims it’s “fixed” abuse review tool Lawmaker accuses Twitter, Google, and Facebook of "commercial prostitution."	Facebook
worldnews	Beijing aims to add good Samaritan laws to new civil code：The Asahi Shimbun	Asahi
worldnews	Hundreds of Twitter accounts including Bieber and Forbes hacked, calling Germany, Netherlands 'nazi'	Twitter
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worldnews	Canadian-Kazakh national charged in Yahoo hack	Yahoo
AskReddit	Anyone else think Facebook listens to your conversations when you are talking then serves you ads?	Facebook
mildlyinteresting	There was a Maybach at McDonald's today	McDonald's
videos	I see your Alexa-CIA video, how about a Google Assistant one?	Google
worldnews	DOJ: 2 Russian spies indicted in Yahoo hack	Yahoo
aww	Zeus doesn't like when I play Xbox because he isn't getting the attention he needs.	Xbox
pics	When did Kraft get so evil?	Kraft
worldnews	Canadian-Kazakh national charged in Yahoo hack	Yahoo
explainlikeimfive	ELI5: Why the pictures of people from Russia show them wearing adidas tracksuits with signature stripes most of the time?	adidas

What Casino Pays Out The Most In Laughlin

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How do you want to do this? A Discussion on Selective Rule Enforcement and the application of the "Rule of Cool"

Abstract:

**“Once upon a time, around a table…”

Session 1: What is the Relationship between, Players, Games and Rules?

Session 2: The Ethics of a Dungeon Master

Session 3: “Well… You can Certainly Try”- Some Famous DM

How do you want to do this? A Discussion on Selective Rule Enforcement

Abstract:

**“Once upon a time, around a table…”

Session 1: What is the Relationship between, Players, Games and Rules?

Session 2: The Ethics of a Dungeon Master

Session 3: “Well… You can Certainly Try”- Some Famous DM

Ok It's Time for my...Annual *Pre-Burning Man Rant and Predictions!!

Federal Stimulus Check

[FIGHT PREVIEWS] Miguel Vazquez vs Denis Shafikov, Zou Shiming vs Yokthong Koietgym, Daniel Geale vs Garth Wood, Hank Lundy vs Angelo Santana, the Boxcino tournament, Ik Yang vs Petchsamthur Duanaaymukdahan + more

Monday February 17

Paul Mendez 14(6)-2-2 vs Raul Casarez 20(9)-4

Wednesday February 19

Daniel Geale 29(15)-2 vs Garth Wood 12(8)-3-1

Thursday February 20

Luis Concepcion 30(22)-3 vs Carlos Fontes 17(14)-1

Friday February 21

Ray Robinson 16(7)-2 vs Aslanbek Kozaev 25(7)-0-1

Yakubu Amidu 21(19)-4-2 vs Chris Rudd 12(8)-1

Fedor Papazov 14(9)-0 vs Peter Petrov 32(15)-4-2

Miguel Gonzalez 22(16)-3 vs Miguel Angel Mendoza 21(21)-2-2

Fernando Carcamo 15(12)-5 vs Samuel Kotey Neequaye 21(15)-0

Glen Johnson 53(36)-18-2 vs Jamie Velasquez 11(6)-5-2

Alvin Varmall Jr 1(1)-0 vs Andre Ward 1(1)-1-4

Angelo Santana 14(11)-1 vs Henry ‘Hank’ Lundy 23(11)-3-1

Amir Imam 12(11)-0 vs Jared Robinson 14(6)-0

Saturday February 22

Alexis Santiago 15(7)-3-1 vs Hanzel Martinez 20(16)-1

Siarhei Liakhovich 25(16)-6 vs Chad Davis 5(1)-11

Tommy Coyle 17(7)-2 vs Daniel Brizuela 25(8)-2-2

Darren Hamilton 14(3)-2 vs Curtis Woodhouse 21(13)-6

Gavin McDonnell 10(3)-0-1 vs Leigh Wood 11(4)-0

Luke Campbell 4(3)-0 vs Scott Moises 8(2)-8-1

Welcome to Bullhead City AZ. Unless you're homeless, then you could just fuck off!

Already tired of the snow. Want to come home. What skills should I hone over the next year or so to be more marketable than I was when I left?

[WEEKEND RECAP] Miguel Vazquez vs Denis Shafikov, Zou Shiming vs Yokthong Kokietgym, Tommy Coyle vs Daniel Brizuela, Daniel Geale vs Garth Wood + more

Monday February 17th

Manuel Avila defeated Enrique Quevedo by UD

Paul Mendez defeated Raul Casarez by KO3

Wednesday February 19th

Daniel Geale stopped Garth Wood in the 6th round

Thursday February 20

Luis Concepcion won a technical decision over Carlos Fontes over 9 rounds

Friday February 21

Ray Robinson defeated Aslanbek Kozaev by 12 round unanimous decision

Chris Rudd defeated Yakubu Amidu by unanimous decision

Petr Petrov defeated Fedor Papazov by unanimous decision

Miguel Gonzalez defeated Miguel Angel Mendoza by split decision

Fernanco Carcamo defeated Samuel Kotey Neequaye by 2nd round TKO

Saturday February 22nd

Zou Shiming knocked out Yokthong Kokietgym in the 7th round

Miguel Vazquez retained his IBF lightweight title over 12 rounds against Denis Shafikov

Mavin Sonsona knocked out Akifumi Shimoda in the 3rd round

Rex Tso stopped Mako Matsuyama in the 7th round

Ryota Murata stopped Carlos Nascimento in the 4th round

Egor Mekhontsev stopped Atthaporn Jaritram in the 2nd round

Tony Conquest defeated Daniel Ammann by unanimous decision

Chris Eubank Jr defeated Alistair Warren by 3rd round stoppage

Tommy Coyle stopped Daniel Brizuela in the 12th round

Gavin McDonnell stopped Leigh Wood in the 6th round

Curtis Woodhouse won a split decision over Darren Hamilton

Luke Campbell stopped Scott Moises in the 8th and final round

Alexis Santiago defeated Hanzel Martinez by unanimous decision

Siarhei Liakhovich defeated Chad Davis by unanimous decision

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